“Umm…”
When it comes to public speaking, this word can be the bane of your existence.
No wonder – it’s a sneaky little thing! Without your permission, it’s creeped into your vocabulary.
You know it’s distracting, so you try to use it less. For some reason, this results in you using it even more. And right when you think you can stop pulling your hair out, that you finally have control…you realize it’s been replaced by another word!
Say a hearty hello to the verbal filler crew:
Like, and, so, but, ah, okay, right, because, actually, you know, a little bit…and the list goes on!
Is there anything more aggravating?!
The verbal filler phenomenon
As a public speaking and communication coach, the most pressing concern I face with new clients is, “How do I stop saying like, um, and other distracting words? Is this even possible?”
My answer for you is a resounding, YES!
Removing verbal fillers from your speech is incredibly simple when you understand the theory, have a strategic plan, and are committed to focused practice. The best thing? Practice can take as little as five to ten minutes a day, and it can often be done while you’re engaged in your usual routine.
In this post, I’m sharing a well-tested and proven plan. In a few short weeks, you can stop feeling victimized by your verbal fillers and start sharing your ideas exactly as you imagined them…without all the unwanted distractions.
What are verbal fillers?
Verbal fillers are words, sounds, or expressions we use to cover nervousness, uncertainty, or hesitation in our speech. They’re also commonly referred to as verbal tics or verbal crutches.
The main reason you’re likely concerned about verbal fillers in your speech is because you recognize how distracting they can be for your audience. When your speech is filled with frequent, little distractions, your message loses clarity; this prevents your audience from emotionally connecting with your ideas. Since emotional connection with your audience has a direct correlation to inspiring action, you can see how this is a problem.
How to remove verbal fillers from your speech
1. Record
If you’re serious about removing verbal fillers from your speech, the very first thing you must do is record yourself. The object of this act is to establish a baseline – what is your starting point?
When you record yourself, keep in mind that creating some discomfort is actually desirable. Why? Because when you are uncomfortable, uncertain, or nervous, you use verbal fillers. If you practice in a calm, familiar environment or with material that you are comfortable with, you will not elicit the verbal fillers you’re intending to work on.
2. Review
The second step is to review your recording to build awareness. This step is arguably the most important step in overcoming your verbal fillers. I always suggest to my students to do two rounds of review. In round 1, simply list every single verbal filler you use; in round 2, take a tally of how frequently each of those verbal fillers was used.
3. Replace
The third step is to practice speaking again. This time, focus your attention on replacing your filler words and sounds with silence.
For many people, silence can be scary. Maybe you feel that gaps in your speech make you sound uncertain or unknowledgeable. In reality, moments of silence are perfectly okay when delivering a speech or having a conversation.
Reasons silence can be beneficial in speech:
- It leaves time for your listener to digest your message.
- It gives the impression that you’re thinking and creating organically – and people like being a part of that process.
- It builds your authority as a speaker and communicator because listeners will subconsciously recognize your ability to control your dictation and remain focused on the substance of your message due to the lack of verbal distractions.
4. Retain or Remove
The fourth step is to decide whether you will maintain the silence you’ve mastered in Step 3 or remove that silence from your speech in order to preserve flow.
When making this determination, the question you want to ask is, “Did the original filler word replace a comma, period, or other natural pause?”
If so, preserve the silence. If not, it’s likely that you’ve inserted the word in a place where no pause (or silence) is needed. For this step, practice and developing greater familiarity with your material will create ease as you move forward.
5. Reflect
Finally, the last step in removing verbal fillers from your speech is introspection. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Why am I using these verbal fillers?
- When do they happen most frequently?
- What setting(s) bring out my verbal fillers the most?
Taking the time to develop consciousness around the answers to these questions can be instrumental in helping you overcome your verbal fillers. While verbal fillers are often just a bad habit that needs breaking, it’s common that psychological factors exacerbate them. When this is the case, journaling and self-reflection are crucial to developing awareness, acceptance, and moving through the bad habit and establishing a new, healthy one.
Let’s review…
So, there you have it!
5 Steps to removing those pesky verbal fillers from your speech:
- Record
- Review
- Replace
- Retain // Remove
- Reflect
Want more verbal filler exercises?
During the course of my career as an attorney and communication coach, I’ve learned and developed several exercises that help you master your verbal fillers. Many of these exercises can be incorporated into your daily activities or completed with just a few minutes of time set aside for practice each day. If you’re a busy entrepreneur or professional who struggles to find the time, I’m sure these exercises will work for you!
To simplify your mission to remove verbal fillers from your speech, I’ve created a free mini-course: Verbatim – The Verbal Filler Bootcamp. This course includes:
- More details on the verbal filler theory and the 5 Steps discussed above,
- Detailed, customizable exercises that will uplevel your control over your verbal fillers,
- A fillable PDF where you can journal and track your process in an organized way,
- And the #1 Rule about verbal fillers that the experts are keeping secret!
Interested? Sign up for my email list and snag your free mini-course today!
